Lacking

Lacking

I take a look back at my past
A life peppered with despair
Of dreams that'd never last
And wounds that won't repair
Bleeding cavities in my soul
Pouring out hope's last remains
Leaving only the blackened hole
Coated only in scars and stains

Too many things remain undone
Acheivements forever unchecked
Failures rotting under the sun
Past a mess, future is wrecked
That list of goals lies bare
Wilting and dying of the shame
Each day, so depressingly aware
And yet, it's only me to blame

It's those simple little things
Common to every single person
But not me, oh how it stings
Can only watch my sanity worsen
God I feel so pathetic and sad
Missing out because of how I look
Locked inside, I am going mad
With this agony, I'm ever stuck

Something basic like a first kiss
ever only a delusional thought
Another thing I'll have to miss
Nothing works the way it ought
Everyone else gets that moment
A feeling my mind can't perceive
Only filled with bitter resent
Of a give I shall never receive

I hate having to accept defeat
Realising I'm destined to be alone
Watching as you make your retreat
There's only me walking this street
Living in a world devoid of light
Where everything fades out of view
I cry alone each dark lonely night
Knowing what I'm lacking is you