Discontentment

Discontentment

I've spent so long in this state
But yet I fail to get used to it
I cannot bear this agonising wait
Descending in a sordid mental pit
At times it is too much to bear
Strangled by the constant despair
Damaged too much, beyond repair
Why is it that you refuse to care
Although deep down I'm too aware

There's nothing else I can ever be
It just hurts that it's not enough
Everyone else is much better than me
Held back by all that mental stuff
Only a tattered psychological ruin
Unable to accept this hideous fate
I No longer know what I am doing
Never managing to think straight

You only just see straight through
Staring beyond this ugly apperition
My form horrid, polluting your view
Regardless of my friendly ambition
Cast back and listlessly cast aside
Those eyes are trapped elsewhere
While I'm painfully dying inside
A life halted and going nowhere

Left wallowing in my own discontent
Amongst the broken peices of dreams
Lying shattered, broken and bent
Can't really be as bad as it seems
Days slowly merge into a grey blur
These delusional misguided feelings
Moulding my brain to whom I prefer
All dashed by fate's cruel dealings

Standing lost here upon the brink
Confused and uncertain where to go
Watching my empty drained heart sink
Those buried emotions I can't show
I think you know just how I feel
And I can tell it only hurts you
So that's whay I'm forced to conceal
I'll take away enough hurt for two